Thursday, 13 May 2010

A Truly Handy Viz-Like Hint No.2

  • Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon. 
  • Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on. 
  • No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off
  • Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know. 
  •  People whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job.
 I first found out about VIZ magazine when I worked in a bar.  A teacher came in with a copy that he'd confiscated from one of his pupils! The 'Fat Slags' had to be my favourite but those useful little nuggets of wisdom came a close second.

My handy hints seem to have a fridge related theme (see my earlier post 'A Truly Handy Viz-Like Hint'). This is another tip which, although appearing a bit mad on the surface, does have an actual use.

'Instead of buying a wipeboard for your kitchen use the fridge door instead!' This might not work for those of you who have unconventionally coloured 'white goods' but works a treat in the Lovelygrey household. Please note, as a modern liberated woman who did not promise to obey, I totally ignore Mr Lovelygrey's plea's to avoid buying chocolates, crisps and cheddars!

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