Monday, 19 July 2010

Maladaptive Meditation

Life should be good at the moment. I'm having a lovely time with family and friends and my work environment is happy and productive.  There's also  some exciting things to do on the cards including a holiday to the Loire in the motorhome and Papa Lovelygrey's 80th birthday meal at the Riverford Field Kitchen, my family's absolute favourite place to eat.  Oh, and the weather is lifting the spirits because, for the first time in a couple of years, summer actually resembles the season that it's supposed to be.

From a health point of view however, things are not as good.  I'm eating too much junk, drinking more alcohol than I would like and not taking enough exercise.  There's only so much that the Citalopram dam can hold and cracks are showing.  Too many anxious thoughts are creeping back - I'm worrying more about what other people think and feeling overwhelmed.  Procrasination is setting in and my attention span is waning.

I realise that I can nip this in the bud.  And,  I'm starting with reviving my daily mindfulness sitting practice which has lapsed over the last few months because I've  felt too busy to devote forty minutes a day to this.  Definitely a false economy because the practice magically seems to create extra time for me.  But hey ho!, mistakes are there to learn from and can be catalysts for personal growth.  And hasn't Jon Kabat Zinn, a leading proponent of mindfulness practice said that you can gain a lot by observing the effect of periods of non-practice?   Hopefully, my renewed focus on doing what I know keeps me healthy should get me back on track before that French roadtrip!

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