Monday, 17 January 2011

Lovelygrey's Guide to Successful Bad Parenting: Volume Two - The Bad Tooth Fairy

The sequel to my first guide to bad parenting has been a long time coming.  Maybe I don't do such a bad job after all.  My son is well fed and watered,  has a stable home life and is above all, the happiest little thing I've ever seen, apart from the times when I insist he get's dressed quickly or cleans his room. However I do fail miserably in my role as the tooth fairy.

Picture the scenario.  I come home from a day at work often having helped people deal with a momentous life event or merely a crisis and find Louis proudly holding one of his milk teeth which he's forcibly ejected from his month by frantic wriggling action.  He hides it under his pillow expecting it to be replaced by a £2 coin in the morning (As an aside I realise that this may seem premium but I was duped into believing that this was the going rate).  The next day it's still there!  Because of her exhaused state the tooth fairy forgets to return after Louis is asleep and  passes him by, sometimes  even two or even three days in a row.
Now I get away with this woeful neglect explaining that the  fairy visits on a nightly basis checking for new gaps.  If she sees  a tooth  missing then she can find it even if the child has swallowed it  and leaves a coin in return.  However, if they are asleep with their mouth closed when she's passed she does put any money under the pillow.   Such shameless lying surely  justifies a bad parenting label and  deserves intervention by some higher tooth collectionauthority!

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