Thursday, 20 October 2011

Why Buys Part II

I really enjoyed producing my 'Why Buys' post last week so I thought I'd do another one!  This time I decided to visit an online retailer and where better to go than Ebay in my search for things that I haven't a clue why anyone would want to buy them.   I've certainly had more than a giggle or two in my search for worthy contenders for inclusion.   However, to be fair to the sellers I'm featuring I've given a link to their shop just in case I've highlighted something that happens to be must have item for one of my visitors.

Let's start with frippery for our cute and cuddly friends. All you rodent lovers out there please correct me, as a non pet owner,  if I'm wrong but I'm having trouble imaging how providing a  stripey hammock for your pet ferret improve its sense of well-being.
This double chocolate melting pot  narrowly beat two other serious contenders for inclusion - popcorn and candy floss makers.  Even though it has been endorsed by celebrity chef Rachel Allen, I fail to see how that's going to stop it being relegated to the back of a dusty cupboard for the 99%  of its unwary purchasers.  Wouldn't a couple of saucepans do nicely?  You could also use one of them to recreate the fairground atmosphere and pop corn too!

Feeling a bit lardy but craving sweeties.  Never fear help is at hand.  Each of these  inhalers,  costing nearly a  couple of quid each, contain eight to ten puffs of air infused with mico-particles that land on the tongue and give the taste buds a chocolatey treat without add inches to the thighs.  Couldn't you just lick and sniff  a much cheaper bar of Dairy Milk and get the same effect?

However if you take my advice and unfortunately find yourself troughing an entire family sized confectionery bar rather than just imbibing the fumes, it seems that help is at hand.  Just take evasive action against weight gain and purchase one of these attractive vinyl sweatsuits  to shed those excessive pounds.   Surely weight loss due to dehydration can't be money well spent.  And bin bag chic would only be a major lure if you've got a particular perchant for the likes of Fungus the Bogeyman.

For a teenage Lovelygrey a set of 142 lipsticks to choose from and experiment with would have seemed like a dream come true.  That is, until the only  two that I used on a daily basis ran out and I was left with 142 colours that didn't suit me.

Pretentious moi? How have I gone so long without wine glasses that cut down all those wasted minutes spent letting my my special offer red from the Coop  breathe so that it perfectly compliments my deep pan pizza.
Has the world gone mad? It seems unfeasible that a person lazy enough to need a self stirring mug would be able to muster up the strength to crawl to the benefits office to raise the £9.95  needed to buy it.  The poor dear would have to undergo the terribly strenuous ordeal of persisting with using that twenty pence teaspoon.

And of course I've saved the best until last. Who could think of using £10.99 in a more useful way than to perk up a flagging love life. What could that sum buy?  Some ingredients for a special meal, a nice bottle of wine, some flowers or chocolates....or a pair of pawprint pasties.  Now that should raise the passion stakes nicely!

1 comment:

  1. Ha ! Another wonderful selection. If I put those boob things on it would confirm that Dillon's total adoration of " she who feeds & walks him " had gone a tad too far !!!

    The fat suit I could do with to sweat out this cold I have !

    As for melting chocolate... it doesn't last long enough to get anywhere near a pan !

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