Tuesday, 20 November 2012

If My Nineteen Year Old Self Could See Me Now.....

...she'd be angry and disappointed.  Why?  Well  things haven't quite turned out the way she expected.  Here's a few examples.

  • I don't live in a humongous pad with lots of servants to clear up after me, just a small comfortable place I call home that I don't even own!
  • There's not a gloriously good looking bloke in tow helping all those staff.  Hell, there isn't a man at all! AND I am rather embarrassed about my younger self's penchant for ultra pretty boys like the young Gary Numan or Morton Harkett. They'd have to be a bit more rough, ready with a penchant for dressing in outdoor gear if they did make it over the step these days.
  • She'd think I've let myself go.  I haven't kept up dyeing my hair and there's no even a hint of the gothic black eyeliner that used to creep down my cheeks.
  • I've also got a bit fat after too many bits of body have recently gone wrong. What do you know that's the least of my worries.  After a year like the last I'm just glad to be alive.
  • A good night is most likely to be spent at home with a book and a cuppa or watching a good programme on the telly.  Most likely I'll follow that with an early night.  It's not about endless strings of nights partying until dawn.
  • My job hasn't got the status that she expected and my ambition has waned.  But hell, aside from the current NHS shennanigans, I'm happy with my interesting and worthwhile work!
  • I'm also satisfied with a salary that she would have view as a pittance even though it seems plenty to me.
  • My fashion sense can be dodgy...Take those Crocs for example..
  • And as for music...Pah!  There's some  stuff that she would have never have listened to as the NME scorned it - like Queen and far too much folk and blues.  
  • I get pleasure from not having much in my rubbish bin and minimising food waste.
  • Mostly I find shopping a drag unless it's in charity shops.
  • I've come round to the idea that a diet of wine and chocolate isn't ideal.
  • I've grown out of that adolescent trait of seeing my parents as low-life and actually enjoy spending time with my family.
It doesn't look like I've achieved my dreams then.  But hey I've changed.  And my forty seven year old self is far more contented than that nineteen year old image of myself would ever be. 

1 comment:

  1. This post so reminded me of me as a 19 year old, just starting my nurse training, out to change the world. Oh how things change, but you're right I too am more contented that I ever was when I was younger