It wasn't easy to find a name for my weird nail that grows upwards instead lying flat on my little toe but at last I've tracked it down. It's called a 'ski jump' nail. Try putting varnish on that! The reason it's like that? Well, apparently the nail bed follows the shape of the underlying bone which also curves upwards in a shape that would have Eddie the Eagle raring to go.
Those of you who are even slightly observant might notice that other things are awry. That great big bruise on my big toe? That's where I dropped my motorhome gas bottle on our summer jaunt in August. When I did it the cussin' could be heard half way across France. It's gradually moving upwards but I reckon I've got it as a bodily feature for another year. That curvy fourth digit isn't conforming to its natural god given shape either. It was deformed in my youth by unsuitable footwear.
But how can that be? To my mother's dismay I have forever been a sensible shoe type of girl. Clumpy she would say. And therein lies the problem. When I was young the normally sensible Mama Lovelygrey refused to buy me party shoes unless they were very high and pointy. I succumbed just twice to this idiocy but no matter. The damage was done. 'Pride feels no pain' she stated as she also pushed her own feet into impossibly cramped shoe beds. I'm begging to differ here!