Monday, 14 January 2013

Hannibal Lector's Pork and Carrot Pasta

Apologies to all you vegans and veggies out there.  This post definitely isn't for you.  Neither is it for those who are even vaguely squeamish. But for the extreme thifter who isn't adverse to getting their protein from a bit of human flesh this may be right up your street.

I've made a version of this recipe before but I think the book from whence it came is back in my former marital home.  So this is my take on it, tailored to stretch three chipolatas that were left in the fridge into a meal to feed both of us.

Here's the ingredients for the pasta sauce which look fairly innocuous at this stage.  There's a chopped onion, a garlic clove, a carrot, dried thyme, meat from the three deskinned sausages, fifteen cherry tomatoes, tomato puree and about a third of a jar of sun dried tomatoes in oil that had been languishing at the back of the fridge for a while. I'm sure that a tin of tomatoes could be a substitute for the large three ingredients but I was on a 'using up' mission.    You'll also need, surprise surprise, pasta and a mugful of chicken stock made with a cube.  So here's the method that evolved.

  1.  Fry the onion and crushed garlic in a pan with olive oil .
  2.  Pop a pan of salted water onto boil..  
  3. Next grate the carrot.  Whilst doing this don't forget to catch your finger on the blades in the process to add some of that much needed extra protein.  There are only three small sausages after all.
  4. Rush up to the bathroom whilst dripping blood everywhere for a plaster.  Waste about three because the packets aren't made easy for an injured singleton to open on their own.
  5. Calmly add the carrot, a bit of finger and sausage meat to the pan.  Squish around with a spatula.
  6. Clean up blood dripping onto  the hob and floor and repeat step 4.
  7. Blitz tomatoe-y ingredients with about a teaspoon of thyme.  Here my preference would have been for sage.  It goes so nicely with human flesh.  But alas, there was none in the store cupboard.
  8. Add pulpy goo to the pan with the stock.
  9. Put the pasta on to cook.  I prefer penne to catch the sauce but it's up to you and the contents of your store cupboard what you use.
  10. Once the pasta is al-dente, or a bit softer, as is the preference in our house because we are plebs, drain it and mix it through the sauce.
  11. Serve topped with grated parmesan.  In performing this step you may add a little more finger to taste!

NB:  Human flesh optional!

1 comment:

  1. Souds delicious. I'm surprised you are owning up to the blood and gore - I don't. If it drips in the pan so be it! Don't tell.
    Love from Mum