By hook and crook, I got myself discharged this afternoon even though I was offered another night's stay. This was despite the fact that I still have no feeling in my left leg as the local anaesthetic that knocked out my femoral nerve still hasn't worn off. I promise too that I was totally honest with the nurses and confessed that an eleven year old boy would be in charge of my care this evening. What was I thinking! I could have remained in a peaceful private room, waited on my attentive staff who, amongst other things brought me dinky little pots of tea on doily clad trays and fed me plates of salad garnished sandwiches. Though not the prawn ones as they were reserved for non NHS patients that had paid for the care themselves. I bet that they got Ferrero Rocher (predictive text: Hetero Crochet!) with their late night hot chocolate as well, just to let them know that they were being spoiled. My nurse this morning confirmed my suspicion that there was bacon sarnies on offer for them rather than just toast and cereal on the Plebgate menu.
Thankfully, a Pukka pie that lurked in the back of the freezer has emerged and there's some chicken in the fridge that I defrosted a couple of days ago and forgot to eat that'll do for Louis. A tummy upset in my current state wouldn't be fun. I am suffering the indignity of having to use a zimmer frame for Pete's sake, so am avoiding moving about if at all possible. What was that Japanese programme where people undertook extreme acts? It's like I'm participating in that and one of the stunts involves drinking loads of fluid whilst maintaining bladder control. Only joking about feeding out of date food to my son My bad parenting, even when incapacitated, doesn't extend to passive acceptance of poisoning him. He'll be fine. It was well in date and it helps that he has a stomach lining made of lead
Today's glamorous images show the bird's eye view of my leg which, as you see, has had several different makeovers in the last few days. There was a convict garb stage and then one created by the surgeon where it looked like there was an explosion at the Windowlene factory. Then it went through its badly wrapped mummy phase and finally has emerged sporting an impressive leg brace from thigh to calf that makes my old one look tiddly. When I can feel my leg again there's a quite a gruelling exercise regime to start. I'm really excited this as it has the knock on effect of getting me generally fit again. With my cruciate repair done and dusted I've finally got the X at the back of my knee back. In spite of today's setbacks, I'll retain my perky stance as I'm now so hopeful for the future.