Thursday, 22 May 2014

More Grateful Clouds and Personal Thanks

Over the last few days there has been a real sea change.  When I walk I've just realised that I'm not conscious anymore of every step that I take, wondering whether my knee is going to be painful or, horror of horrors, cause me to collapse on my back in an undignified heap. Waves of anxiety that have been with me over the last months have suddenly gone away.  For the first time in quite a few years where I've struggled with illness I feel that I've got to the stage where I'm totally healthy in mind and body.  It's not just my imagination.  Others have noticed and commented on how well I look. Yes!  It's been a long time coming.  To celebrate the start of a new phase of my life where all sorts of new possibilities seem open to me I went for rather a long yomp yesterday on Dartmoor. There I experienced heartfelt gratitude by looking again at those wondrous cloud formations that pass over the landscape.

This is quite a similar selfie to one that I took a couple of months ago. Then I'd struggled to hobble just a few hundred yards from the car, dependent on a leg brace and crutch with the parking area still in sight.   The outcrops in the background here are a fair distance away from the road and to reach my viewpoint I tackled quite a substantial gradient with ease.  No wonder I'm looking pleased.

My time off work where my mobility has been restricted has taught me quite a lot about myself.    I used to think that I was about the most self sufficient person on the planet.  Even though I'm an extremely sociable little bunny I normally love my own company.  Enforced time at home without daily contact with others has made me realise that I can get lonely if I'm cooped up. It's a state of affairs that I think must be all too common for many. When I was in London I saw an Age UK poster that highlighted the extent of  loneliness experienced by over a million older people. Although phone calls and online chats are helpful they don't quite satisfy the need for human contact that came upon me when I was confined to my home.  Once I was allowed to drive again and regained my freedom that sense of isolation passed.  Being outdoors, even on my own gives me a sense of connection with the wider world and the loneliness passes. Best get out there while I can but think about what I might need as I get older and less able to satisfy my wanderlust.

So here's a view of Haytor that's the other side of the one that I can see from my house.   What I'd like to do now is offer thanks to everyone who've helped me through this difficult time in my life.  It's meant that I now can walk to the other side of the outcrop to take this picture!  You'll know who you are if you've given me the moral and practical support that's allowed me take the huge steps that I have over the last couple of months.  And the best bit is that they're now nigh on limp free!   I'm so appreciative of what everyone has done for me and wouldn't be in the position that I am today without y'all.  Maybe now I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed I'll be able to return the favours when they're needed. It will be a privilege.


  1. Glad you are feeling better, you look great in that photo.

    When I was in my thirties I hired a cottage in the Lakes for a week. Although I loved the area I felt lonely all by myself. The only person I spoke to was the milk man. Now I am in my sixties I have a different outlook on life. I can go anywhere by myself and never feel lonely because I feel comfortable making conversation with complete strangers. I always read your blog by the way, even though I don't always comment.

  2. I'm so glad that your knee is fit enough for long walks in that glorious countryside. You do look fab in the photo - you have a look of contentment, which , to me, is a good thing to have.

  3. Kind words thank you. Yes I think I am content! x

  4. That is very good news indeed! I am pleased for you.