Monday, 11 August 2014

Grabbed By the Throat

Yesterday was very lazy was to give that poor old knee a chance to heal again. I discovered, to my cost, that the physiotherapy prescribed gentle run at this stage in its recovery is just too much.    Despite the prominent silly side to my nature, I really can be quite sensible. High physical activity levels are my preference but I know that once a joint is inflamed it's not a good idea to keep doing what you've been doing that caused the injury in the first place. Duh! So rest I will and that's why I spent most of yesterday on my bed.

As well as popping those anti-inflammatories, I decided to use the opportunity of a  enforced slow down to try out some hippyfied self healing. After all I was in Glastonbury at the weekend so those Arthurian vibes  must have rubbed off.  It's not just physical well-being I'm after but the whole kit and caboodle of being tip top mentally, emotionally and spiritually.   Over the years, practically every complementary practitioner I've encountered has made reference to tightness in my neck area or problems with communicating.  A blocked throat chakra has, of course, been mentioned.  I absolutely understand where the problem might have originated from. Conservative seventies society, with the threat of a clip around the ear for talking out of turn, didn't exactly encourage children to express themselves freely.  During adulthood those patterns of having difficulty asserting myself continued and were reinforced.  I didn't believe for a long time that  I was entitled to give opinions or tell others when I was unhappy with their actions.

Blogging was the first act that started to rectify this state of affairs.  I experienced real terror to begin with at the thought of sharing words with anybody else but now written expression comes easily. Guided initially by the principles of Toltec Wisdom  I've made some inroads this year into having a more well-rounded spoken voice too.    It's way off perfect yet but work is being done, including noticing what happens when I suppress what I think I should be saying.  The outcome of remaining schtum when I really should have spoken up isn't usually good.

So, for example,  I'm trying not to contain anger and annoyance towards others like I used to. Sure there are times when diplomacy is still the answer but now I'm much more likely to tell people when they've pee-ed me right off.  This doesn't happen often I hasten to add as I'm a mellow,chilled girlie with high tolerance thresholds.  But some things absolutely need to be said.  When my heckles rise, it can be a little alarming purely as it's  out of character.  Rest assured, my state of wrath is done and dusted in minutes. I learnt a long time ago that grudge bearing does not make for a healthy inner life.  People don't really need you to give them a hard time forever.  After all I believe that the majority of us out there are trying to live a good life most of the time

And practice makes perfect doesn't it?  I do admit that my outpourings can lack finesse.   'Blimey!' said Scary Secretary after I recounted the tale of how I'd expressed one grievance.  Now, as you'll guess from her pseudonym she isn't exactly noted for tact herself.  'Did you have to spell it out quite as clearly?'  And my answer was a resounding yes.

For at the moment I'm proud of myself when I speak out even if my wording is a little clumsy.  With this comes acknowledgement that I have a right to express displeasure.  I don't have to try to be nice all the time or indeed  liked by everyone. This has wider ramifications for what I will be able to speak out about at societal as well as a personal level as I mean to more often in the future.

Maybe there is a technique to refine but that will come later.   I think expressing anger in love is probably what it's about.  This is a good article. Could a throat chakra meditation help in this process?  Well there seems no harm in trying. Here's the one that I use

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