Tuesday, 28 October 2014

A Bit Rude

This moving lark and the fact that everything has gone ultra-mad at work is making me grumpy. I like life to be simple and it's sure not that way at the moment.  I'm missing Lou as well.  In one sense it's good that he's in Portugal with his dad, seemingly spending most of his waking hours in the villa's hot tub. His absence and lack of childcare responsibility makes clearing the house easier.  But on the other hand there's no sharing snuggles, chocolate and childish giggles.  It'll be so good to have him home at the weekend.

In the meantime, I thought I'd cheer myself up writing about something that tickled us pink at work. You need to leave now if you're easily offended.  The rest of this post talks about a naughty body part.

I was writing up a particularly tricky assessment the other day when my deep concentration was interrupted by Mr Metrosexual. He has a habit of doing this.  'Have you heard of anal bleaching?' he asked.  I thought that he was having me on but it's a procedure that really does exist.  Look it up on Wikipedia if you don't believe me.  There you'll find the before and after shots that I really couldn't bring myself to put on my own blog.

Apparently some people are extremely upset that the skin around their black passage is dark.  Me, I haven't a clue what colour mine is.  It could be orange with white spots, a bit like Nemo, for all I know.  That probably wouldn't be a good thing but I'm not going to get busy with a mirror for research purposes. I'll take a chance it's fine.   My little gang considered whether we could easily supplement our NHS pay with an additional cosmetic services.  We'd just need to pop over to the Co-op and the nice little garden shop opposite to equip ourselves with a couple of bottles of Domestos and a bit of hose.  After all, how hard could the procedure be for a bunch of nurses and a butter fingered occupational therapist to follow?

On a serious note this revelation has got me thinking a bit more deeply. The inside of some people's heads must be in a dreadful empty state.  When there's beauty, suffering, love and loss, the great mysteries of the universe and what will be really good for tea to contemplate, why are some of my fellow humans preoccupied with the hue of their arses?   Isn't there so much more to life?


  1. I think I might give that particular procedure a miss thanks along with the buttock enhancing injections etc etc! However, thanks for the info!


  2. I've been contemplating getting my vagina tidied up, but on second thoughts won't bother. I very much doubt that anyone will ever get the chance to see it ;o))