Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Oxysaurus Stew

Recipe time again!  Let's have one  that doesn't involve setting fire to the place shall we?   It's that time of the year when the cockles of the heart and just about every other part of the body needs to be warmed comprehensively.  There's nothing like a good old fashioned stew on a bed of buttery mash to hit the spot.  Here's my version.

Freshly hunted or a pack of oxysaurus tail pieces (see below)
Six rashers of streaky bacon chopped up
1 bottle of yummy red wine
1 sliced onion
1/2 bag of carrot sticks leftover from Salty Dog's party - chopped up a bit
The remainder of a pack of  mushrooms in the fridge - chopped up sufficiently finely to disguise the fact that they're in the recipe (to prevent childish cries of 'I don't like mushroom!')
A good glug of Lea and Perrins
Ditto balsamic vinegar
1 good tablespoon of jam
1 tin of tomatoes - swished with hand to break up.  Make sure that you make a right royal mess in the process.
1 litre of beef stock.
Salt, pepper and paprika to season

  1. Tell eleven year old that you are off out to kill an oxysaurus, the last remaining dinosaur living in Britain that needs to be legitimately culled to stop it trampling our wheat crops.  Whilst he's looking the other way sneak into Morrison's and buy a pack of ox tail.   Tell child that ox is an abbreviation of oxysaurus.
  2. Get all serious and say 'Well okay, it isn't really dinosaur tail.  What creature does it come from?'  Pooh-pooh the answer ('Ox') and disclose that it really comes from a cow.  Shake head in disbelief when child who has been brought up in rural idylll says that cows don't have tails. Prove that they do by showing Google Image picture.
  3. Seek out recipe online on which to base own creation.  Discount any that use an entire bottle of wine.
  4. Two evenings before cooking start to drink the wine.  Continue the next night and tell yourself that you'll save the measly 'half cup' that recipe calls for.  Express amazement when entire contents of bottle end up in tummy.  Decide that this particular ingredient is no longer required. 
  5. Brown meat in pan.  Why do I snigger as I write this?  It wouldn't hurt to add the bacon at this stage at well.
  6. Pop all the ingredients in the slow cooker.  Note the sneaky replacement of the wine with the vinegar and a good dollop of red jam.  Saves that alcohol having to burn itself off, doesn't it?
  7. Cook on low for about 10 hours in a slow cooker
  8. Gaze in wonder at the alchemy that this method of cooking can create.  Decide the recipe might have been even better if the pearl barley and dried mushrooms lurking in the cupboard had been added.
Enough for a greedy mum and boy.  Leftovers to be blitzed to make delicious beefy soup!

1 comment:

  1. I too wonder wjere a 1/2 cup of wine comes from. Sneaky substitution!