I'll 'fess up to my own purchases properly in another post. One of the things I bought though was a dress for my birthday party next month, one spotted by my friends that I might not have bought if I was on my own. It was a mere fiver.
It was a tight fit but fit it does, just. That's okay though because today marks the start of a concerted weight loss and exercise plan so that I don't go into the second half century of my life in a blubbericious state. The girls thought they'd help the process on by giving me a body wrap so a roll of cling film from a cheap hardware store was added to the supplies.
Take one slightly oversized tummy and slather it in a mixture of warm cooking oil and sugar, ingredients chosen in lieu of posh equivalents due to their availability in the sparse holiday home store cupboards. Wrap tightly from knickerline to bra-line tightly in cling film and then a towel. Lie victim under a duvet on a sun lounger by a oil radiator on high for a good forty minutes while the rest of the group take the piss and drink champagne. Unwrap and force to drink a pint of water to 'remove toxins' in lieu of her own glass of fizz. Soak her in a luxury bath tub to get rid of the sticky oil residue that she had to run herself as everyone else was getting a little too merry to be arsed to do it. Apparently the whole treatment would have cost many pounds in the type of fancy beauty salon that I've avoided like the plague for the past forty nine years.