Monday, 23 February 2015

Wot No Fat?

So what do six luvverly ladies staying is a very posh seaside apartment for the weekend get up to?  Of course there was some good food and alcoholic fizzy pop involved, that goes without saying.   And lots of giggling for we're a funny lot. We also went shopping mainly around some  charity shops that were rather productive in terms of what they yielded for our wardrobes. Spiky Kate found the dress that she's going to wear to meet the Queen next month!

I'll 'fess up to my own purchases properly in another post. One of the things I bought though was a dress for my birthday party next month, one spotted by my friends that I might not have bought if I was on my own. It was a mere fiver.

It was a tight fit but fit it does, just. That's okay though because today marks the start of a concerted weight loss and exercise plan so that I don't go into the second half century of my life in a blubbericious state. The girls thought they'd help the process on by giving me a body wrap so a roll of cling film from a cheap hardware store was added to the supplies.

Take one slightly oversized tummy and slather it in a mixture of warm cooking oil and sugar, ingredients chosen in lieu of posh equivalents due to their availability in the sparse holiday home store cupboards.  Wrap tightly from knickerline to bra-line tightly in cling film and then a towel. Lie victim under a duvet on a sun lounger by a oil radiator on high for a good forty minutes while the rest of the group take the piss and drink champagne.  Unwrap and force to drink a pint of water to 'remove toxins' in lieu of her own glass of fizz.  Soak her in a luxury bath tub to get rid of the sticky oil residue that she had to run herself as everyone else was getting a little too merry to be arsed to do it. Apparently the whole treatment would have cost many pounds in the type of fancy beauty salon that I've avoided like the plague for the past forty nine years.

Yes, I do have photos of the process. No, I'm not going to display them online.  I have dignity to maintain.  You'll just have to make to with this Chad-like pose that I adopted whilst I was waiting for the magic to work.  And work it did!  I lost a total of seven inches off waist and hips.  Even though I suspect that the effect was due to dehydration and my girth would be reinstated pretty rapidly that's impressive.  I've been given the roll of clingfilm just in case I'm tempted to repeat the procedure myself in the comfort of my own home!


  1. That is amazing...useful as a short term quick fix if nothing else!