- I live in a van. I knew that my mode of living might be right up at the top.
- I'm mad. I've asked him to clarify this and he doesn't mean this in an axe wielding murderer kind of way. It seems that I'm just kind of kooky.
- I sing and dance in public for goodness sakes.
- Then there's the dowsing pendulum, those angel cards and reiki. 'Nuff said.
- I appreciate rude humour. Apparently regular bog-standard parents don't have a heightened appreciation of fart, bottom and willy jokes.
- Rather than endlessly fretting over my son's misdemeanours, I spend parents' evening rating male teachers according to their hotness. Having checked this out with my female friends this is apparently pretty standard behaviour. My rankings are super secret. Even I know that disclosing them in the public domain is a step too far.
- I have a big phone. With eyesight deteriorating to mole-like status I've got a super-sized Galaxy Note 3. Yes, I can see the screen again! That seemed to me to be pretty sensible and not off any kilter at all. But what do I know?
- I often give him a lift to the school bus in pyjamas. As these are akin to yoga attire, grey baggy bottoms and a vest or sweat top I didn't see a problem here. Apparently there is one.
I've asked Louis if any changes are required. Maybe as he approaches teenage years I should aspire to be super-normal and less embarrassing. The good news is that I need not go down this path. In spite of my oddities, I've been pronounced the perfect Mum....for him. I'm super happy with that!