Friday, 17 July 2015

Daily Spillage

I had my annual appraisal in the last week or so  It looks like I'm doing alright.  Really well in fact. It's good for that to be acknowledged in an NHS where tangible rewards are thin on the ground. One of the things that my manager and I have decided  to address in the next year is to find out whether I, along with my son, might have a brain that works in a different way to others. Do I have a  specific learning difference too?  The boss man is in agreement that it might be helpful. He's talking to occupational health to see how we go about this.

Many amateur sleuths have already labelled me as dyspraxic alongside darn right clumsy . Like Louis I'm totally crap at sporty stuff and  incredibly accident prone. Yesterday  the catalogue of events included throwing tea over myself as I drank from my mug, spilling almost an entire bottle of wine all over the fridge and walking into a wall at the filling station.  There isn't many days that go by where I'm not mopping up liquid that my flailing limbs have somehow knocked over.  It's a bit embarrassing even though I'm accustomed to covering mortification with laughter.  Learning anything that takes dexterity or coordination is a hard slog too.  I get there in the end but it's often a stressful old process.  While I'm pretty high functioning in most brain areas, visual-spatial stuff stumps me. I reckon that I've got the IQ of a toddler in this domain.  With hindsight it's why I found my first chemistry degree so tricky.  At A-level molecules were nice, flat 2D objects that I could cope with.  When they started to be represented in 3D I lost the plot.

More pertinently from a work perspective is that I find organising myself really difficult.  Believe me I have plenty of strategies and routines in place and mindfulness is really helpful too in terms of helping me to focus on what I'm doing.  But when the brown stuff hits the fan, I'm often left floundering.  My mind goes into meltdown and it gets increasingly harder to apply myself at the moments that I most need to stay with whatever is going on.

So why am I seeing whether a formal diagnosis is relevant? After all I've got through fifty years within knowing and I'm still here!  Well firstly it would help me make sense of a lot that's happened in my life.  Then there's the feeling of solidarity with my son that it would give me.  Most importantly knowledge is power.  If  I have an idea of what I'm dealing with then there might be more solutions that can be put in place to make life run more smoothly. And over the next few decades that I've got left on this earth there might be less wasted wine.  That's got to be a good thing! 


  1. I would want to pursue too. Is it brain, body, some undiagnosed but totally manageable vitamin or mineral need? Just exploring might just make you learn things that help you tick in new ways.Intetesting.

  2. Seeing as you are obviously spilling the wine BEFORE its consumption, I have no diagnosis to offer. Aren't we all a bit clumsy?

    1. Yes alas before! I'm more than a bit clumsy. And so is Lou. He set the record on the day that he spilt seven drinks! x