Friday, 4 September 2015

The Nudie Spa

I've been out of my comfort zone a couple of times on this holiday.  Firstly it was driving that automatic vehicle.  Pah!  It was fine, that is once I'd actually worked out how to change from park to drive. I  managed it accidentally at the car hire place but then Louis needed to stop for a comfort break in a wooded layby and we seemed to be stuck.  We had to get the instruction manual out to work out that to disengage the gears you have to press the brake pedal.  All was easy peasy after that.

'How would you like to come to a women's only spa with me on the last day of your holiday?' asked my friend Julie.  John can look after Louis. Babysitting turned out to be an invigorating day of cartoon watching but I was okay with that.  After all my son had been without technology for a week.  'There's just one thing about that spa' added my friend.  You have to go totally naked. Gulp!   Mr Metrosexual and Salty Dog expressed their concerns that I'd was being lured into some kind of  girl only swinging experience but Julie is a wholesome Southern Belle who assured me that all was above board. 'Yes I'm cool with that' I said in the most care free voice that I could muster even though in my heart of hearts I totally wasn't.  Nudity isn't very British after all is it?

It turned out that  I had nothing to worry about. The Olympus Day Spa was lovely and comes thoroughly recommended. Lots of bubbling pools at different temperature and vast basins of tea-like stuff that you chucked over your  torso with abandon.  I was butt naked except for a fetching pink mop cap that wouldn't have looked out of place on a servant in a Victorian period drama.  My fear that it would be populated by lingerie models who'd barely hide disparaging giggles about my wobbly bits were unfounded.  In fact there was not a airbrushed naked body to be seen.  I learnt that lurking beneath clothes are a multitude of body shapes.

There were dry areas where I was allowed to don a dressing gown and lie around on comfy mats in rooms of different temperatures.  Bliss!  There was lots of smelly stuff too to sniff and slaver on my skin.  I came away smelling like a Norfolk Lavender field.  Louis grumbled.  He likes mum to smell like mum.   I think if he would have complained more though if I'd come away wearing one of  the 'I've been to a naked spa' T-shirt that were available to purchase.  That would have taken my embarrassing mother personna just a step too far!


  1. A few photos would have been nice!

  2. Unsurprisingly cameras were banned. However I told Louis that I'd taken pictures and invited him to look and see what I'd been up to for the day just to register the horror on his face!