Saturday, 26 December 2015

Comfort From A Void

Here's a view of my home town on Christmas Day  from the Breakwater, the 1/2 mile long walkway that protects Brixham harbour. The pictures are blurry because of water on the lens of my phone but they've turned out rather well haven't they? The Impressionists would be proud!
I treated myself to a very soggy, solitary stroll yesterday in the eery silence  before a lunch, cooked for me by friends.  In spite of the rain it was wonderful and I felt very blessed.   I took in the views, spoke to the seabirds and sang the  duet from the Pearl Fishers.  I hope to God that the sound didn't travel because I was probably making a right racket.

I had an opportunity to reflect on the last year.  There's been massive highlights: time spent living in my motorhome, a move into a wonderful house that is so exactly right for us it feels as if it was gifted, the brilliant US and Canadian holiday where I caught up with some of my dearest friends and  built some very precious shared memories with my son.   But on a day to day basis it's been hard. Work life was very much out of kilter and dominated much of my existence.  Keeping up took over and sometimes I struggled to meet basic needs.  There were days when I arrived home hungry but was so exhausted I was unable to feed myself so just collapsed in bed. Not good.

Thank goodness things have calmed. I have resolved that this cannot happen again.  And maybe some good has come out of this situation.  It feels like I have extra time now.  So what to do with it?

I confided in a friend that I didn't know what to do with my life anymore.  Mainly I was talking from a career perspective but there's more to it than that.  Questions around how, where and with whom I attain meaning were bugging me and I wasn't coming up with an action plan.  The counsel that I got was very wise. Perhaps I don't have to strive but just need to sit back and see what comes to me for a change.  Opportunities will arise if there's space for them to do so.  I think it might be a question of letting Divine Purpose take over.

In doing a bit of research for this post I came across this very pertinent sermon from a Unitarian minister, Rick Hoyt entitled 'Making Space For Growth'.  It really hits the spot.  I've made good inroads in clearing space, at a physical level and beyond.  Let's see what comes in to fill it!

13 comments:

  1. Plans are good but sometimes it's just as good to go with the flow. We went for a walk before lunch yesterday too, it was surprisingly quiet in Watchet.....other than the raucous laughter and noise from people spilling out of the crowded pub.

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    1. Now that raucous laughter might have been mine if I had been in Watchet, after my attempts to sing the Pearl Fisher's duet! Merry Christmas Sooze xx

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  2. I think the slowing down is an age related thing. The body says slow down you crazy woman, the mind says, hurry up you've got to get it all done before you die. I'm trying to keep my body and my mind running on an even keel. Not easy sometimes.

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    1. I wish I'd been slower and more contemplative earlier in life. Then again no regrets! On a different course I might not have had Lou! x

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  3. Mean queen is quite wise! I think we all go through the highs and low of our lives with a proper reflection. For me it is clutter-but the people clutter is even harder than the physical clutter.I got rid of the work baggage last March and still trying to regain balance. I hope Divine Purpose intervenes in your life and you find yourself in all things right where you belong. I've never known anyone (virtual or in real life) that is as honest in self contemplation as you, and it inspires me and from the comments others, to do the same. You know what matters, and in that, I think it riles the senses that things are not in balance as you know they should be. Interesting that I shared similar thoughts to a male friend recently. He is a well grounded soul, but feeling life angst-nondescript-at the moment. He is in the US or I would try and connect you both.

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    1. Thank you for these very kind words. I am touched that I inspire you. Someone else also said that I was inspirational earlier in the month. Though pleased as punch I was truly surprised. I didn't realise that what I do, say, think was very out of the ordinary. x

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  4. Making firm decisions about the direction of one's life is all well and good, but frankly I think that letting it flow freely probably achieves the same thing in the end. Nature is stronger than all of us.

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  5. Ease and contentment can be yours and I hope it is sooner rather than later. x

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  6. Happy Near Year, lovelygrey! I also love the duet from The Pearl Fishers (about the only music known from that opera, I reckon!) but how did you manage to sing a duet on your tod? Only joking, I know what you mean!
    Margaret P

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    2. Ha! I do the different voices. Happy New Year x

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