Monday, 14 December 2015

Convent Bound?

I've met a couple of women  who have told me that they'd ditched the men in their life for God. Both went on to become nuns.  Each of them felt that an intimate human relationship was a poor match for their all encompassing relationship with the almighty.  Blimey! This falls way outside my own experiential boundaries.  I cannot even begin to envisage how their psyches operate. So even though I have rather a soft spot for Therese of Lisieux and her teachings that give weight to small acts of kindness motivated by love I won't be donning a whimple myself anytime soon.   Sod chastity.  The hunt for a blokey goes on!

It's all come back to me.  I now recall why I dislike the online dating websites so much. The usual ground rules that I follow of speaking truthfully and being reliable and down to earth don't seem to apply.  Nor do conventions about sticking to dating people around your own age. Lord knows how old the 76 year old who viewed my profile really is.  A friend said that it's fun to be seeking and obtaining attention from a myriad of men.  I don't find it so.  'At least it's a boost to your self-esteem' I was counselled when I told someone that a twenty seven year old had been 'winking' at me,  the preliminary sign of interest. But I'm content enough with myself  not to require this.  Any sense of being unworthy went out with the bathwater a long time ago.  And I don't need an entire fan club.  When it comes down to it I'm just after one person for mutual adoration. Hang the rest!

I'm also uncomfortable with the way that I'm making assumptions about others based on, not just their personal appearance but also the environment in which they took their profile picture.  I'm rejecting people on the grounds of dodgy taste in wallpaper and upholstery.  How shallow does that make me! Even so I can't help myself doing it.

Seemingly the problem  is that a pen portrait and a few photos don't provide adequate or verifiable information. There's a lot to be said for meeting someone in person or maybe being introduced through a friend.   Maybe I could forgive a style faux pas if I was convinced they were a half decent human.  I've done so in the past.  Oh well, Mr Metrosexual and Ruff Stuff are loving the intrigue at least.  They live vicariously now they've settled down into routine domesticity together with the dog. Ruff Stu thinks I'm being way too coy.  'Just press lots of buttons.' he advised.    What could possibly go wrong?! 

6 comments:

  1. I seriously think you should be cautious. If (or when) you go to meet someone for the first time, could you take a friend with you? A decent guy wouldn't mind, and you'd have a back-up in case of disaster.

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    1. Bless thank you for being concerned for my safety. When I did this before I always met people in a busy place and checked in with a friend at a prescribed time to let them know I was okay. I may come across as a bit wacky but I'm sensible underneath and don't put myself in stupid situations. Lone working in mental health has given me a good training!

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    1. No that would cost even more money, or at least time. I'm sort of thinking that it didn't really matter what site I chose. It was more about putting the intention of finding someone out there. Eleven years of working in hippy town Totnes has certainly rubbed off. x

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    1. I am fussy too. Not too bothered about distance. For someone who likes spending time on my own that would be fine, at least at first. x

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