Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Another Passing

After yesterday's tribute to David Bowie, I'd planned to share something perky.  But my normal habit of ringing the changes between blog posts seems inappropriate.   For yesterday I heard that a colleague had died suddenly. He had a heart attack whilst out on a run.   He's been instrumental in helping us getting the pilot for the occupational therapy research project that I'm involved with off the ground. So I've got to know him quite well over the
last year or so.  A lovely man who spurred me into action with whom I shared a  laugh or two. Not a close friend but more than an acquaintance.  Goodness knows how his wife and other family members have responded to the death of someone so overtly healthy, where there was no expectation of a goodbye.

I am sad with intermittent tears. Louis has seen these for I have not attempted to hide them. Children need to know when it is appropriate to express emotion.  Anger, sadness and fear all seem the right responses sometimes.  He snuggled, swaddled me in blankets in my favourite chair, made me tea and played me the Book of Love.  I am in awe of his compassion.  He's a wise being for a twelve year old.

I've been meaning to return to the Buddhist practice of reflecting on impermanence for a while now. This seems a fitting time to do so.  I'm sharing a link to a  beautiful meditation on the Nine Contemplations of Death. It will be a helpful resource over the next few days to help me prepare for my own  passing, whenever that might be. With that comes an awareness of what is important in life.

For the second day I say 'Carpe Diem'. It could be our last.  And let those who are important in your life have no doubt that you love them.

11 comments:

  1. Very sad, however I do think that a lot of so-called 'very healthy people' put their bodies through too much strain.

    Should we live our lives aware that it could all come to an end at any moment? I'm not too sure.

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    1. Maybe my work is the reason that I am so aware of the fragility of health and my own mortality. I view the inevitability of death as a motivator that I often reflect on to make the most of life x

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  2. My dad's death came in a similar, unexpected and sudden way. It's the most painful thing I have ever experienced, and it changed my life. John will be 55 next year, the same age my dad was when he died, and although he is very fit and doesn't drink or smoke, a small part of me has been afraid for quite a while.
    Louis is indeed a wonderful young man...I'm sure his fab mum has a lot to do with that. Take care. Xx

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  3. Sorry for your sad news :-(
    Life is just shit sometimes

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  4. This might be of interest http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/10/opinion/sunday/to-be-happier-start-thinking-more-about-your-death.html?_r=1
    Arilx

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  5. I've lived with the imminence of death for both myself and our son for some time now. Expecting it doesn't make it easier - although it's far worse to lose someone you love than worry about yourself. However, people in our lives have died completely unexpectedly throughout this period.

    Best to travel hopefully through life whilst realising that nothing is permanent. Your son sounds amazing - you must be very proud of him.

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    1. During the meditation the woman talks about how it might not be the person's terminal illness that is the thing that takes them. That stood out for me. Thank you for sharing your views. I was touched that you commented. I am incredibly proud of my son. He is my joy! x

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  6. Thank you for the links they are very apt and appropriate for events that have happened in our family's lives during the last year.
    xx

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  7. Death is close to Tom and I now, I am 70 and Tom is 76 and although we hope to be around a bit longer we both talk quite openly about when the time comes. Somehow it doesn't hold the fear it once did, funny that isn't it?
    I'm sad for your friends family, nothing is as bad as a sudden unexpected death, very hard to cope with.
    Love your blog
    Briony
    x

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    1. It ceased to hold fear for me after the time when I was seriously ill and might well die. Thanks for commenting Briony x

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  8. Louie is a wonderful young man, you are very lucky. I am sorry for your loss.

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