Wednesday, 10 February 2016

My Mind: My Mate

The Bible yesterday, Buddha today. Honestly! What is this blog turning into?

'Your mind can be your best friend or worst enemy'.  

This unattributed  quote struck me as particularly significant a couple of weeks ago. I was working with someone who was incredibly troubled.  This was not because of what was happening in their physical environment  but through the unimaginable torture conjured up between their two ears. Their distress was tangible even though what disturbed them wasn't.

'Maybe my mind has turned against me as well!'  That was one of my own thoughts  since I've been signed off with stress.  For instance, my sense of what is difficult is disproportionate.  When I awoke yesterday, transferring money to Louis' music teacher, writing an email and doing the washing up  took on the air of the impossible.   I'd normally deal with such mundane stuff on autopilot.

Thankfully there's part of me that seems separate, a dispassionate observer.  They're not seeing my mind as a new enemy,  a turncoat. For from it stems creativity, love, analysis. logic, humour,  a sense of what is right and wrong and the idea that there are hinterlands where morality  or reason is unfathomable.  It usually serves me beautifully and my inner life is  something that is cherished.  At the moment it's just been stretched beyond capacity with multiple things that cannot be blogged about,  tales of trauma outside my control, yet where my input has been needed.  I had my first telephone counselling session last night and it was only then the breadth of what I've been dealing with lately sank in.

My mind is still my friend but maybe one that is in need of a bit of firm TLC at the moment.   'Rule your mind or it will rule you'.  So said the Buddha.    The part of my psyche that remains objective urges the addled bit to remain rational, encourages it to properly assess the difficulty of what needs to be done and coaxes it into action.  Because of it money was paid, dishes got cleaned and an email was replied to as normal.  My mind is also reminded to go easy on itself and notice the things that it's still doing well and what is being achieved.   After all wouldn't I be offering similar support for any other mate in the same situation?

10 comments:

  1. Your post today made perfect sense to me! My mind has had that very same tendency in the last year, causing me to withdraw because everything seemed insurmountable. I knew it was 'all in my head', but got stuck. It's a case of taking baby steps now to escape my self imposed prison.
    You are obviously a better balanced, emotionally strong woman to be able to recognise it for what it is and step outside it. Well done you :)
    Blimey - that's a 'heavy' comment for 7.20am!

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    1. I just pressed the wrong button and deleted my response lol

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    2. Wendy, we must have been thinking similar thoughts when we wrote our comments. xxx

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    3. Oh dear Wendy. write it again, it was a brilliant comment. xxx

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  3. I imagine that your job would be very stressful, I couldn't do it. We seem to be at the opposite ends of the spectrum, me looking for simple solutions, dismissing the trivial and moving on, you thinking very deeply and mulling things through, over a longer period of time.

    My thoughts on your situation, think of your own health first, even if it means changing your job. I hit the wall in my mid fifties when I knew I couldn't do my job any longer. I still had to earn a wage, so I went part time. Any chance you could do that?

    Whatever you decide it has to be your choice. I wish you well, you are one super lady. Best wishes,

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  4. Ok try again lol. I have many books in my house some of them very old relating to the power of our thoughts, we are what we think etc. I have always known that despite how it may seem we have the power to manage our own responses to outside circumstances by controlling our own thought processes and trying to focus on the good stuff happening in life instead of mulling over the idiotic behaviour of some. However, last year I found myself struggling to make sense of anything at work or at home resulting in a complete mental breakdown where all I could do for days at a time was weep. Consequently I was signed of sick. During this time I sat for a long time on my own in silence. I believe this really helped me to make the decision to retire from work despite the financial implications retiring early would mean. There is more to life than money and a big pension pot and what's the use of waiting to gain access to a large pension pot if I'm too ill to enjoy it. So here I am retired at 56 with a tiny pension but a lot calmer less stressed and very contented. I've rambled a bit I know but taking time out to rest and listen to ourselves is the best way to gain answers to our dilemmas.

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  5. Great posts all of you. Thanks for these well considered thoughts and your kindness. I can't afford to retire yet as I have quite a sizeable mortgage. However I do realise that significant change may be necessary in order to achieve work-life balance and I have to give significant thought to have that might be achieved. That's when my whole brain starts to function a bit more effectively again!

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