I was signed off from work for another three weeks last Friday. I told the GP that I felt fraudulent. Why can I go out and enjoy myself, laugh and chat with friends and get stuff done around the home yet basic childcare is onerous and a return to work still seems impossible?How can anyone else believe that I'm ill when I can't quite fathom it myself? In lots of aspects of my life I'm too bloody normal. Shouldn't I be curled up in a sobbing unwashed heap?
The doctor concurred that this was a tricky one for me to understand let alone expecting others always to do so. But then he told me that patients repeat the same kind of tales over and over. My story is typical for those with work related stress . I cannot emphasise how immensely helpful hearing this was. Perhaps I'm doing something right as a therapist when I give the people that I work with similar assurances.
Previously I believed that acceptance in the context of ill health might be just about being stoical about the limitations that a condition imposes. But I've learnt that there's more to it than. It's also tricky to accept wholeheartedly the things that I can do. Rather than feeling guilty I'm trying to change my perceptive and be grateful for the inner resources that I've retained. Simples? Well no. It's actually much easier said than done.