Saturday, 12 March 2016

Spice Up Your Crafting

Let me prove to you all that my trademark infectious giggle is still alive and well!  It was certainly  in evidence the  other day when I came across a link on Facebook to '40 Worst Book Covers and Titles Ever'. I shared it so that my friends and family could have a laugh as well.

My brother pointed out that, unfortunately, the featured edition of
Make Your Own Sex Toys was unavailable on Amazon. On the cover it looks as if the beardy bloke from the first editions of the Joy of Sex is taking a well earned break from servicing the missus and has retired to his workshop to get his creative juices running.

This particular book must have grabbed my brother's attention for when I phoned him later in the day he was very keen to tell me that not only was a later edition for sale on Amazon marketplace but you can click on the image on the website to have a look inside.  The few pages that are available do not disappoint from a comedic perspective. " Say goodbye to furtive trips to sleazy shops or hours of wading through gross Internet pages - everything you need is here!" boasts the introduction.  And these are not just common or garden sex toys.  No!  They can be custom built to provide a perfect fit for the lucky recipient.  A handy guide to measuring appropriate parts of both male and female anatomy is included.  The author seems to have had a rare, coy moment when illustrating how to find out the length and girth of a penis as he substitutes drawings of a banana instead.

I was pleased to see that there's quite a comprehensive section on health and safety.  After all A&E staff dine out on stories about household objects being used for purposes other than those intended.  One nurse told me about the unfortunate man who had accidentally fallen naked onto the nozzle of his vacuum cleaner.  I felt the advice to remove pins from knitted or crocheted objects was particularly handy.

Even though I commend the book for its innovation it's not an area of crafting that I'll be exploring myself anytime soon.  The back cover shows a nifty bit of carrot carving but for those more innocent souls out there why not make some cymbals for Santa like those here?  Or you could always stick to really traditional uses of vegetables and errr,  cook with them.  I made a very satisfying Carrot and Cheddar Soup the other day.  It kept me happy!


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