When I phoned my folks in Southend the other day, Papa Lovelygrey was indignant. He'd just had a takeaway leaflet through the door. 'What's the most you've ever paid for a pizza?' he asked. He'd caught me off guard. I wasn't sure that I could say. I'm certain that it couldn't have been more than say, twelve or thirteen quid at the very most. The ones as the Stable on Plymouth's Barbican can come in at around that price but they're really good and I haven't felt hard done by when I've eaten there. And I've always been partial to a Fiorentina with spinach and egg from Pizza Express although I haven't been there in yonks. I'm sure that's even cheaper although still a bit pricey to admit to Dad. He is a pensioner with a tight grip on his wallet after all.
'Five Hundred Pounds!' said Dad indignantly. 'It's got gold and caviar on it. What a bloody waste of money!' I hurried off to Pizza Gogo's website to take a peep. Indeed it has along with lobster, fantail prawns and a bit of white truffle oil. It's brought to you, not by a sulky youth on a clapped out moped but with red carpet delivery, whatever that means, and butler service. 'Only in Essex!' I thought and then I saw that this is an offering from a chain and can be delivered further afield. I'm sure it was in the county where I spent my formative years that the idea was spawned.
Luckily I haven't picked up any TOWIE attributes. I'll stick to traditional toppings. Travel Man visited Dubai, another place that likes its bling. It featured Johnny Vegas, on whom I have a inexplicable crush that I have trouble justifying even to myself. Maybe it's the fact that he can throw a decent pot. He passed comment on the gold leaf that had been added to an ice cream. 'It's like I've licked the exhaust off a Capri!' Thank you Johnny. You've confirmed my decision not to be adding any precious metal to meals anytime soon. I'll stick with making jewellery with it.