Sunday, 24 April 2016

Fishing

Let's talk about my most recent dating site exploits shall we?  I reckon we all need  humour in our lives.  As my membership is shortly ending on that paid for site  I thought I'd up the ante and increase my efforts a little bit.  Think sloth to slow loris!  So I've changed my profile picture there and additionally signed onto what is probably the UK's best known free site  It's comedic value is unfettered and has already given me and Mr Metrosexual a bloody good laugh. 'You could base that comedy stand up routine you want to do on this' he said.  'Your reactions and the commentary are hilarious'.

The response to a newbie on the scene was immediate.  'Wearing well, I can't believe you haven't been snapped up already'.  messaged one man.  'Ah but that's because I'm really fussy'. I replied. And so it seems.  The site has a  feature where you can indicate interest by swiping left or right on your phone.   I've already exhausted its database in a geographical radius that takes in London and the home counties as I am really rather shallow and judgmental.   It will leave some of you thinking that I am going to end up a sad and lonely old lady at this rate.  Gone are the men holding fish trophies, ones with dodgy furniture or heavily artexed ceilings, those with their legs apart who seem to have the contents of a fruit bowl down too tight shorts,  the badly turned out,  the too old and too young, those that seem illiterate or, conversely, pretentious and perfectly decent blokes where I wiped them off the scene forever by an flip of the wrist in the wrong direction.  Oops! Que sera.  Not meant to be perhaps.  Definite rejections went to the man whose profile name was something like Psycho '67, the totally nude biker dressed just in a string of onions and the guy with his head up a woman's skirt in a lap dancing club.  What were they thinking!  One guy contacted me and seemed great but then spoilt it with endless messages about all the WWII graveyards and monuments he has visited and those on his bucket list.  It's wonderful for someone to have a passion but really! I got bored, made my excuses and went back to my printing.

Congratulations must go to a 38 year old Londoner who has surpassed the man who had high hopes that I was a dominatrix.  I'd normally ignore messages from one so young but couldn't resist.  He make a good start  by complimenting my hair but then spoilt the mood by asking  if I had any thought of shaving it off entirely!  Further inquiry confirmed my suspicions that yep, he had a 'bald women' fetish. As he admitted, odd but harmless. I've wished him luck in his hunt elsewhere.  It's a look that would alarm my kid and  the elderly people that I visit.  They're confused enough without a totally shorn woman turning up on their doorstep.  On that note I'm returning to work tomorrow.  I feel much better!

20 comments:

  1. All the very best for returning to work tomorrow and hope it goes well
    Carolx

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  2. Good to hear that you are feeling well enough to go back to work. Great post about all the weirdos out there. You will probably meet someone locally, when you are least expecting it! Don't your pals know anyone to suit?

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    1. Ha! We've covered that ground many time. I make new friends quite frequently as I'm fairly gregarious. So one day perhaps!x

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  3. Maybe a paid site like the Guardian one might be a better bet? Says she who knows absolutely nothing about the matter. Sounds like a bit of a minefield!
    Arilx

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    1. No, it doesn't work like that. I've tried. And actually I met the most suitable bloke through a free site. Therein lies a non bloggable story! x

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  4. Great news, glad to hear you are feeling better! I hope your return to work goes well.
    Also glad you have a sense of humour with the online dating, as it sounds like it's certainly needed.

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  5. Wishing you well with your return to work. Take it easy though and look after yourself. Love the humour re dating sites! Carole

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  6. I'm glad you are feeling well enough to return to work however phased return might be the way to go? God knows what dating sites ur on I never had this much fun I met lovejoy within weeks and that was it hook line and sinker for both of us, or maybe it was just desperation lol

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    1. Yes, not desperate yet. It just would be nice... x

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  7. imed at just "country folk" when she took a job for a while in a tiny little rural community, knowing no one but her married coworkers. It was humorous mother-daughter bonding at it's best. No, she was not interested in the man who wanted a hot meal ready and plated within 8 minutes of his return from the field, made while she was homeschooling their minimum of 5 children, preferably more, while keeping house the way a woman was intended to do so.At least he was honest upfront what he wanted. It sounds like you could easily swipe away a few.

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    1. Now there's a story that highlights the attractiveness of remaining single. x

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  8. Good luck for the return to work.Do you have Meet Up in your area?It is a site where people meet up for gigs,meals,walks etc.Not a dating site but who knows.Give it a go.

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    1. We do have Meet Up but I'm too busy with my existing friends, family and interests to pursue. It's a good idea though.

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  9. Good luck for tomorrow! Take it steady. x

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    1. Cheers mate. You take care of yourself and that lovely man. xx

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  10. Good to know thaat you are getting back to work, how is it going so far?

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    1. It's going okay and lovely to be back with my colleagues. x

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