The response to a newbie on the scene was immediate. 'Wearing well, I can't believe you haven't been snapped up already'. messaged one man. 'Ah but that's because I'm really fussy'. I replied. And so it seems. The site has a feature where you can indicate interest by swiping left or right on your phone. I've already exhausted its database in a geographical radius that takes in London and the home counties as I am really rather shallow and judgmental. It will leave some of you thinking that I am going to end up a sad and lonely old lady at this rate. Gone are the men holding fish trophies, ones with dodgy furniture or heavily artexed ceilings, those with their legs apart who seem to have the contents of a fruit bowl down too tight shorts, the badly turned out, the too old and too young, those that seem illiterate or, conversely, pretentious and perfectly decent blokes where I wiped them off the scene forever by an flip of the wrist in the wrong direction. Oops! Que sera. Not meant to be perhaps. Definite rejections went to the man whose profile name was something like Psycho '67, the totally nude biker dressed just in a string of onions and the guy with his head up a woman's skirt in a lap dancing club. What were they thinking! One guy contacted me and seemed great but then spoilt it with endless messages about all the WWII graveyards and monuments he has visited and those on his bucket list. It's wonderful for someone to have a passion but really! I got bored, made my excuses and went back to my printing.
Congratulations must go to a 38 year old Londoner who has surpassed the man who had high hopes that I was a dominatrix. I'd normally ignore messages from one so young but couldn't resist. He make a good start by complimenting my hair but then spoilt the mood by asking if I had any thought of shaving it off entirely! Further inquiry confirmed my suspicions that yep, he had a 'bald women' fetish. As he admitted, odd but harmless. I've wished him luck in his hunt elsewhere. It's a look that would alarm my kid and the elderly people that I visit. They're confused enough without a totally shorn woman turning up on their doorstep. On that note I'm returning to work tomorrow. I feel much better!