I must have written before about how I believe how normal it is to experience a full spectrum of emotions. Indeed we are blessed if we can. In the modern Western world we seem far too quick to medicalise those that are deemed unpleasant - anger, sadness and yes, fear in appropriate circumstances. At a time of great loss, being chipper all the time would be dysfunctional in itself and deny the meaning behind significant events. Anaesthesia is not the answer. And so, I've been lounging in my recliner under the trees where I watch my sadness. It manifests itself physically. There's a real sense of heaviness in my heart but also heightened sensitivity in my face which often leads to crying. My mind empties. I wonder if there is a degree of dissociation that acts like an internal comfort mechanism. When faced full on, the emotion does not seem unbearable or threatening.
I found the beautifully named church of Notre Dame de la Joie on my last trip to this part of the Breton region. It was thoughtfully restored at the end of the last century and seems to be in symbiosis with its coastal environment. For the rest of our time here it can again be another place where I go to sit, reflect and maybe transform.