Sunday, 16 October 2016

Lonesome

For no explicable reason I felt lonely yesterday.  It's a somewhat alien sensation because a) more often than not I'm surrounded by  friends and family who love me and b) I'm usually a person who's very happy indeed with their own company.  I'm a strange mixture of social animal and hermit!

It wasn't as if I didn't have any human contact in the day either.   A chatty repair man arrived and fixed my washing machine. A rogue 5p that had knackered the pump was the problem.   I phoned my Mum  and Louis also called to say goodnight. And  I had a bit of banter with Salty Dog on Messenger.  So there you go.  I wasn't  isolated in any sense.    I'm wondering if the feeling arose as I didn't leave the house at all.  It's quite rare for me to stay inside all day.  Anyway I've woken this morning and the feeling has passed.

Many of the people that I see in my working life must experience loneliness near constantly.   No wonder they're depressed.   It's not uncommon for me to come across poor souls who regularly go for days without any meaningful contact with others.  It's why I'll often stay and chat for a bit longer than it really should take just to get an idea of their mental health.   So I wonder if it's a good thing in my line of work to sometimes experience how what the people that I see must be feeling.  An empathy boost from above perhaps?

12 comments:

  1. I remember very well the feeling you describe. Years ago when I was a single mum to my four they would go to their dad on a weekend and I would really struggle with being on my own for two whole days when friends were doing their own family stuff and my family were miles away. It took me a while to get used to it but then I began to really enjoy my own company after working all week. I met Lovejoy five years ago and I've rarely been on my own since and whilst I wouldn't go back to my previous life I do sometimes crave some solitude. I do think it's a good thing to have some alone time as you say to give an insight into how a lot of people live it's also good for us to reflect on how lucky we are too.

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    1. I think that it might be about particularly missing Lou too. He's off with his dad to Mallorca for half term and after Wednesday I won't be seeing him for the best part of two weeks. xx

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  2. I do feel a bit sad if I have been in the house all day and not spoken to anyone, wouldn't say I feel lonely though. It's a good thing for me to do the daily walk, I always come across someone to chat to.

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    1. It was odd how it hit me as I'm not usually lonely. Got out yesterday and met up with friends. All was fine and dandy again! xx

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  3. And yet, people can have days where they are surounded by other people, yet still feel lonley. I think of isolaed teens at schools loaded with already formed groups of friends and being on the ouside or even elders in nursing homes. I think you are perceptive to your patients needs, and a blessing that they have you in their life.

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    1. Yep, you can be lonely in a crowd. I've had that as well in the past. xx

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  4. I have a friend who lives miles away who had a major operation three weeks ago.I have sent her e mails and had no reply.Her OH has emailed me about how she is.I kept thinking "surely she could manage an e mail".On Friday I started with a urine infection and Friday and Saturday I felt so ill I couldn't have managed to email anyone.It gave me a feeling of what she is going through.Like you say it is good thing to get an insight into what other people are experiencing.So glad you came out of it.Moral:don't stay in all day on your own.

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    1. Yep, it's really tempting to define 'easy' in terms of your own ability to manage. When I was poorly earlier in the year just posting a letter in the box over the road took on a monumental scale. That gave me a bit of insight into how hard everyday activities can become. And yes people get to the stage where they have nothing to give to others when they can barely look after their own needs. Thanks for sharing. xx

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  5. Hope you've had a better day todayxx

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  6. Yes, definitely loneliness is something that can come from being cooped up inside all day. I do believe we need the air and space of outside. It is good that you can show empathy for those you visit. Tis v important.

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    1. Many of the people with dementia that I see who live in residential care are denied the experience of outside space. No wonder they get a bit angsty. xx

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