Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Willy For A Day

I've found out that there are two types of women in the world.  Some of us, myself included, would jump at the chance of having a set of male genitalia.  Just for twenty hours mind you.

Mine would certainly be much bigger than the one that this chap here has been blessed with I can tell you.   I'd like to design it myself and make a much better job this time than the one I tried to fashion out of blue plasticine when I was about six. Perhaps it's best that I spare you the details aside to say that it had major constructional flaws and didn't cut the mustard at all.

To my utter surprise there are others of the fairer sex who are horrified when I present this scenario to them.  They have no desire to swap their girlie bits for a dangly appendage of their own creation even on such a temporary basis.  I found this out when I brought up the idea in conversation with some social services colleagues.  It must have been a rare quiet day.   'What would you do with it?' asked one in a bemused fashion.    Of course I've had years to think this through.  'Lots of things.' I replied  'I'd wee out of train windows, see how far I could  stand away from the toilet whilst peeing  and uh....I'd stick it in things.'  Her response to this last idea was priceless.  'So the pie section at Morrisons wouldn't be safe from you then?'

14 comments:

  1. Ha Ha the pie selection. That film is a classic. I think the idea of being able to go to the loo pretty much anywhere is its boon. Long car journeys being the major thing. I hate public toilets I have a face of resigned horror when I have to use them. That would be my reason. lol

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    1. Didn't realise that there was a film reference so had to go and do some research. Ah! American Pie! xx

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  2. Can't say I've thought about it extensively although as a child I thought it would be useful for going to the toilet when out. But, it is activities like seeing how far or high boys can wee, that results in school toilets being utterly disgusting much as I'm sure it is fun for them. Also, well brought up.boys are taught to sit and wee according to some guys I've talked to. Though no doubt it would be useful when travelling.

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    1. Definitely a travelling plus especially when camping. Much easier and less chilly for boys when they need a wee in the middle of the night. xx

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  3. Yeah, public toilets would be far easier. Although if it was only for a day then that would hopefully be the most boring thing I did!

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    1. Yep a visit to a public toilet would be last on my list as well. In fact I think I'd still stick to the ladies. Blokes loos often are such stinky places. xx

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  4. Would certainly be useful in the great outdoors. It takes an age to fight through ones layers when preparing to squat. And you can imagine what happens when one hasn't chosen the right spot and hasn't noticed the stinging nettles. Ouch.

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    1. I've wee-ed on my walking trousers once! xx

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  5. I have a feeling men don't experience the "break the seal" phenomenon that requires 10 trips to the bathroom once you finally reach one, but being able to use outdoor spaces better, or even porta potties without sitting would be terrific. Other than that, I'm just fine myself.

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    1. In England we don't sit on Porta Potties or any other public loo. Girls are taught a way of hovering above them. It's a Brit thing! xx

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  6. I'd like to laugh at you, but every time we go camping and there's no outdoors toilet available...I wish the same thing.

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    1. Keep toying with the idea of a She-We. But now I have the motorhome 'roughing it' under canvas is quite rare.xx

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  7. Oh my word - I want to shop with you at Morrison's pie section! Thank you so much for the 'laugh out loud, all on my own' - you are a hoot! xx

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    1. I try to please. Was quite proud of this post for its mirth inducing qualities. xx

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