Sam the Beard and Nursey Mike are fairly recent acquaintances who we got to know after Ruff Stu knocked Nursey Mike off his bike. Sometimes I think that if someone were to write a biography of my life it would be rejected on the grounds of being totally implausible. My new-ish friends are fond of Baxter too and he sometimes stay with them. On a recent holiday to the States they brought back a topical dog toy. You'd think that Baxter would jump at the opportunity to grab Donald Trump by the throat and give him a proper good shaking. But not a bit of it. Quite sensibly, he was terrified and refused to go anywhere near his basket when Donald took up residence there.
Apparently I'm not allowed to tag Louis on Facebook anymore for hanging out with me goes off the Richter scale when it comes to uncoolness. And there was I thinking I was the type of funky mother that a son could be proud of. But for Donald he made an exception. Apparently being pictured with a cuddly politician is the height of street cred. The mind of a small boy is an unfathomable thing
Now Louis was quite prepared to take Donald off Baxter's hands. However his repeated attempts at begging to secure ownership fell on deaf ears. For plans had already been made to alleviate Baxter's distress by 'repurposing' Donald.
Sam the Beard and Nursey Mike had a fireworks party on the 5th November. Traditional has it that a lumpen image of the perpetrator of the Gunpowder Plot has to be rustled up. He is fashioned out of pairs of old tights stuffed with newspaper, dressed in old clothes and then burned on the bonfire. But my friends are busy blokes who don't have time for that nonsense. After all they had perfect pulled pork to prepare. So what to do? You have to have a guy.
It wasn't an accident that Donald ended up back in Sam and Mike's possession that night. His demise had been orchestrated in advance. Baxter has no need to be frightened any more. For his old adversary, who turned out to be exceedingly flammable, made a very dapper substitute for Guy Fawkes indeed!