Of course I have to recognise that blogging daily is no mean feat. Over the course of 2016 I've also made enormous strides in making my Brixham house a home that is a rather beautiful place to be. But I've done little in terms of creating visual art this year, no prints, no mosaics or jewellery. I'd like to make regular time for that again
It's been an eventful year. In particular the long bout of mental illness where I came to a near halt and the death of my sister have brought about much soul searching. What's really important in life? What's got to go?
Let's deal with work-life balance first. What the hell is that! There's been none for the last couple of years. My job's been consuming so much time that should be my own with no intrinsic or extrinsic rewards. But hang on! It's not all bad. If it's kept within the confines of a 9-5 five day working week what I do for a living is ideal. I travel around a beautiful area of the country and make a difference to people's lives. I'm intellectually challenged and rarely bored, always more to learn. Being a 'brainy bird' as I was once called by a short lived Essex boyfriend, that's important to me. So I've been working even harder over the last few weeks, catching up, reflecting on the way that I do things and determining where I need to be more boundaried. And I'm now at a stage where my job can be a delight again within the confines of a 37.5 hour working week.
After significant thought I've also given up studying for a Masters degree. I couldn't make time for it and being totally honest, maybe I don't want to. I wasn't finding out what I actually set out to discover within the confines of a rigid academic course. So, I'll go it alone and inquire in my own way. The decision is a relief. It's freed up a lot of headspace I can tell you.
So what am I going to do with this extra time? Well, as a kid with specific learning differences that makes school challenging at times, Louis needs me to be properly present rather than constantly pre-occupied. I want to be with friends and family in a guilt-free way, not always thinking that I should be studying or working instead. And then there's a fledging relationship with Lovelybloke who's funny, kind and gorgeous and worth a bit of investment. It has no chance of working if I'm always stressy and have no time to give from the outset.
And there will be a time over for making stuff. I'm going to make sure of that. For I find losing myself in being creative highly restorative. I hope to be able to show off something very shortly!