Friday, 2 December 2016

Re-Evaluation

Photo:  Instagram
Over one hundred consecutive days artist Becky Margraf produced one hundred little felt faces like the eighty one shown here.  I think they're rather wonderful.  Little squares of cuteness.   It's got me thinking about my own creative output recently.

Of course I have to recognise that blogging daily is no mean feat. Over the course of 2016 I've also made enormous strides in making my Brixham house a home that is a rather beautiful place to be.  But I've done little in terms of creating visual art this year, no prints, no mosaics or jewellery.  I'd like to make regular time for that again
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It's been an eventful year. In particular the long bout of mental illness where I came to a near halt and the death of my sister have brought about  much soul searching.  What's really important in life?  What's got to go?

Let's deal with work-life balance first.  What the hell is that!  There's been none for the last couple of years.  My job's been consuming so much  time that should be my own with no intrinsic or extrinsic rewards.  But hang on! It's not all bad.   If it's kept within the confines of a 9-5 five day working week what I do for a living is ideal.  I travel around a beautiful area of the country and make a difference to people's lives. I'm intellectually challenged and rarely bored, always more to learn. Being a 'brainy bird' as I was once called by a short lived Essex boyfriend, that's important to me.  So I've been working even harder over the last few weeks, catching up, reflecting on the way that I do things and determining where I need to be more boundaried. And I'm now at a stage where my job can be a delight again within the confines of  a 37.5 hour working week.

After significant thought I've also given up studying for a Masters degree. I couldn't make time for it and being totally honest, maybe I don't want to.   I wasn't finding out what I actually set out to discover within the confines of a rigid academic course. So, I'll go it alone and inquire in my own way.  The decision is a relief.  It's freed up a lot of headspace I can tell you.

So what am I going to do with this extra time?  Well, as a kid with specific learning differences that makes school challenging at times, Louis needs me to be properly present rather than constantly pre-occupied.   I want to be  with friends and family in a guilt-free way, not always thinking that I should be studying or working instead.  And then there's a fledging relationship with Lovelybloke who's funny, kind and gorgeous and worth a bit of investment. It has no chance of working if I'm always stressy and have no time to give from the outset.

And  there will be a  time over for making stuff. I'm going to make sure of that.  For I find losing myself in being creative highly restorative.  I hope to be able to show off something very shortly!

18 comments:

  1. Lol you could make your own WEDDING DRESS!!! ( sorry )
    It's all about being kind to yourself Mrs. And your Lovelyson will definitely bloom for it x

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    1. Easy tiger. It's early days! I did make my last wedding dress though from a designer Vogue advanced pattern. It was the trickiest thing that I've ever made on a sewing machine. xx

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    2. Just catching up to join the chorus saying this sounds like an excellent decision for you.
      Balance in our lives is so essential and yet is often the hardest thing to find.

      And then to say wow! You made your previous wedding dress yourself, that does sound very advanced.

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  2. Sounds like you're now getting things just right.

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  3. It sounds like a very good plan. I used to be " creative"..ie knitting, cross stitch, crochet, but it is difficult to do those things with 2 dogs on your lap!!

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  4. So often the challenge is deciding to not take on a new challenge! Good luck with your re-focus and finding time to create more lovely things in your life.

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    1. Yes, and even though I mentioned the other day that I often have a problem with finishing what I started, it's still good to re-evaluate life and terminate those things that aren't working for you. xx

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  5. I am pleased that you are managing to balance the important things in your life. xx

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    1. Thanks - it's taken some work but I'm getting there. xx

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  6. I think you are doing amazingly well. So much happened to you this year and here you are , at the end of it, in a "good place".
    JanF

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    1. I've always had an expectation that life will be good and that getting through struggles make us stronger and more resilient. xx

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  7. How sensible to take stock and decide what is important. So often we keep doing things because we think we ought to rather than want to. look after yourself and those who are close.

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    1. I definitely feel that I've got off a metaphorical hamster wheel and have taken control. xx

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