Realistically, in an overstretched NHS, I don't see this situation improving. It seems the only thing to do is to change my perspective whilst working on Plan B. These days I make dammed sure that I do everything possible to keep well: eat regularly and healthily, avoid self medicating with alcohol, hydrating myself, exercising, meditating, having fun outside work with friends and family. You know the stuff. It isn't rocket science. I'm always looking for more ways of preserving sanity too.
Friday was even more barmy. I arrived home exhausted but I'd enjoyed my day. But instead of getting embroiled in the mayhem I decided to highlight the good bits.. So here they are.
One of the people that I see with a significant depression said that I was like a ray of sunshine and I light up everywhere that I go. Louis would beg to differ when I go into his bedroom in the morning to wake him but there you go. A colleague complimented my on my resilience. I liked that. I'm managing to stay focused on the trees in the landscape as I drive about. They are incredibly beautiful symbols of strength, reminding me to stay present in the moment and not to 'dwell on what has passed away and what is yet to be', good advice from my mate Leonard Cohen.
What else? Someone who has historically run away from mental health workers when they're ill phoned me when they were in trouble. That meant a lot. And in the course of my work, rather than because I'd been very naughty, I got my first ever ride in a police car, a Skoda big brother of Leif. Even though it was a sedate affair, and didn't involve a blue lighted chase around the lanes catching baddies it brought on a feeling of childish excitement!