Saturday, 20 May 2017

A Monochrome Mindset

At the top of my blog page I profess to live between black and white, not dogmatic but trying to  act and think in  ways that promote acceptance and tolerance.  When observing my thoughts the other day I surprised myself with just how rigid and, yes, loveless my thinking can be.

I tend to rub along very nicely indeed with most people.  But there's a few that I really don't like. What's more I feel justified in my feelings towards them.  After all they're individuals who I see as particularly selfish, self seeking and cruel to others.

So I was really shocked today to hear someone on my 'blacklist' described as  wonderfully warm and empathetic.  What  seemed to make it even worse was that the person describing them in such glowing terms is so gorgeous themselves.  They're up there on my opposing list of those I most admire for their compassion and selflessness.  I wanted to speak out and put them straight about that bastard!  Thankfully I managed to bite my tongue but it was a hard thing to do.   After all I'm right aren't I?  The wool must be very firmly covering their eyes if they can't see the person for what they are,  i.e. from my own perspective.

And so I came to the realisation that  I  label people in very black and white terms. So  I'm not really living on the greyscale at all!  Even those I see as  inherently evil, for that is what my judgement has assumed them to be, have the capacity for good.  I've  actually seen 'the bad guy who is the subject of my post today demonstrate incredible generosity.  Yet I ignore that sight of them which demostrates their humanity because it doesn't suit me.

Yes, my thinking can be starkly monochrome. I'm glad this has come to my attention for it's a mindset that needs changing.    I'm not sure how but noticing that I have a propensity to do this seems like a pretty good start.

4 comments:

  1. I agree it is very hard not to be biased about people whose previous behaviour is hurtful! I suppose this is all about being in the present not the past or maybe giving people a second chance.

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    1. And being accepting that everyone has a good side. xx

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  2. I was very struck by someone who had been what I would suppose could have looked like aggression. Accused me of something and really broke down.

    Long story short, someone had said I said something (all very school) and she got angry. I pointed out quite quickly, I wasnt here that day I am not on facebook or twitter, where did this person hear this... 4 days later when I next saw her, she apologised. I think because of her personality, it was very hard for her to do that. It made it more heart felt. People surprise me daily.

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    1. There's that saying that goes something like 'until we've walked in another's footsteps....' that I think is pertinent here. Those who are hurtful have been hurt themselves. xx

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