Okay, it may be a little inappropriate to tell this story but when has that ever stopped me? Anyway Lou's been dining out on it for a couple of months so it's no secret in my circle. I'm not sure what came over me when I attempted to try and convince my fourteen year old that I was, as near as damn it, a virgin. After all it seems that way at times. Not quite on a par with Mary, Mother of God, I told him. There'd been one slip off the path of purity and he, of course, was the result.
Lou told me very directly that he wasn't at all convinced and I thought that was the end of the matter. Little bit of nonsense done and dusted. But no! He returned to the subject a couple of hours later because he'd downloaded three lie detector apps to his phone. I was subjected to the barrage of tests which included one that scanned my finger and one that supposedly analysed my tone of voice. I can't recall what I had to do for the third. However I remember well that the results were unanimous. Apparently I'll be growing a nose like Pinocchio sometime soon!