'What are you doing New Year's Eve?' I asked Mr Metrosexual. 'Nothing' he said and we both made bah humbug noises. To be honest it isn't my favourite night of the year. 'Why don't you and Ruff Stu come round for a roast dinner and then we can all be tucked up in bed safely by midnight?' 'That sounds lovely,' he said. Except it didn't quite turn out that way. This first photo? It's a potato I couldn't bear to turn into a roastie. It's too modern art for that.
The dinner went ahead as planned. There's rolled belly pork, pigs in blankets, two types of potato, buttered carrots, peas, pureed squash and brussel sprouts cooked with bacon and cream. Let nobody say that I can't rustle up a good Sunday dinner when I need to!
We'd popped out shopping for supplies. Louis persuaded me to buy some 'extras'. Mr Metrosexual leads a very sheltered life. He hadn't come across glow sticks before. Really! I think he's a convert.
And here's the boy all ready for raving. But remember this is a quiet night in.
Me looking decidedly disco. At this point my 'Other Boys' phoned. I'd invited them over but they'd had other plans. They'd been stood up at the last minute though. 'Can we come over?' they asked. 'We have gin and champagne and fireworks!'
More explosives from Asda. We had to be cleared by bomb squad before leaving the store.
And here's my Christmas present. It's for anthropological study only you understand. Some of these guys have shaved their armpits. Unbelievable!
More of Louis' armament stash going up in smoke. He made the Clementine Cake himself earlier in the day.
The 'Other Boys' got colouring. Our Brittany frieze might be finished by the end of 2018. Ah! This was more like the sedate evening that I had in mind.
But then they set off the weediest fireworks in the world in my backyard. Good job the display in London was on the telly. Yes we made it to midnight.
And this is what greeted me on the landing when I woke this morning. Glow sticks still aglow. My gin supply seems to have multiplied too and I think I'll be forever picking up those little circles of card on the bottom of party poppers.
From me and my boy, who now towers above me, we send many blessings. May you all have the most fantastic year ever in 2018. With a little help from friends mine certainly has got off to a good start!