Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Anxiety Banished


I want to take Klaus the Knaus, my motorhome away for the May Bank Holiday.  Red Mel and I have some cycling to do. I hadn't been up to the campsite in yonks. But yesterday something suddenly occurred to me.  What if I hadn't emptied out the water tank before the winter?  Was I going to be confronted with burst pipes and a sodden second home?  A wave of panic set in and then a sense of realisation.   What a rare emotion that this is these days!  Only a couple of years back it was the all pervading backdrop to my life.  So ever present that I didn't actually appreciate that feeling like you're being chased by a tiger all the time isn't quite right.   Perhaps the daily meditation and giving thanks, being careful with words and thoughts and any other method of navel gazing that I've forgotten to mention is working.  I can't see any other reason.  Nothing in the outside world has changed that much.

When I got to the campsite yesterday everything appeared fine.  Apart from a six month old half dead coffee cup in the sink.   Oops!    It's a wonder it hadn't grown legs but as it hasn't so I brought it home for a good scrub.     On further inspection though I discovered that  something is up with Klaus' electrics though.  It's all as dead as a dodo.  That would have been enough to set off waves of terror in the past.  These days I'm nonchalant.  I'll look through the van manuals and see if I can come up with an answer.  Replacing a fuse is probably all that's needed.  If not I'll call a bloke out to have a look.  No panic, no fuss.  I'm liking this inner calm stuff!

6 comments:

  1. I'm much better these days coping with anxiety, but not quite there yet.
    We had our first trip this year in our Motor home a fortnight ago and needed a jump start to get the engine back to life. No problems once we hit the road. Enjoy your "jolly".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm planning a lot more shorter trips this year. Just go to get poor own Knaus fully functioning. Enjoy your motorhoming. xx

      Delete
  2. Love the cartoon-glad the flat battery didn’t stress you too much. We once left the water on in the caravan and it was a big job with many sweary words from a crabbit Scotsman before we got it thawed and cleaned up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not a flat battery but the internal electrics. I wonder if it's a fuse. Ingress is my worst nightmare. The back window seal isn't perfect and let water in. I park the van on a slope now and that keeps it out! xx

      Delete
  3. You've really come a long way haven't you? All the meditating and life changes have made such a difference to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have and what I've worked out is its the consistency of practice. It doesn't seem to matter too much that I'm really still quite distractable whilst meditating. xx

      Delete